connie the mississippi queen bachelor’s degree psychology certified spiritual life coach owner two hospitality businesses life exerience in codependents anonymous
MY STORY
Through the years, the path I was on, started to feel, as if I were carrying a mountain, up a mountain. I was being gifted, struggles, challenges, and hardships, and I knew, I wasn’t being punished. However, it took a while for clarity to arrive. In the interim, I just kept pushing down the wrong career path, until I watched that world, completely, crumble, before my eyes.
It was only then, I understood, the path, which I was on, was most certainly not my soul’s path. The soul’s path is not supposed to be that hard. It is supposed to unfold naturally, and organically. I was beginning to feel enslaved, and I could not, with a straight face, continue to refer to it, as my soul’s path.
I was being guided, and directed. I was still with resistance, fueled by my ego, and fear, specifically, because I did not yet understand, the greater purpose, for which I was being called.
One of the best things, I ever did, in my life, during that time, after my divorce, was that I did not point my finger, at him, and say, ‘that man’s crazy’. I asked, instead, ‘what’s wrong with me? Why did I allow this toxic relationship?’ As they say in the Twelve Step program, ‘when we point our finger at someone else, we have another three, pointing back at ourselves’.
It was by the Grace of God, this happened, in my life, and this was my first, step out, on my spiritual path. It was from this point, I came to learn a lot of my problems stemmed from codependency issues, and I learned that codependency is really a spirituality issue. It’s when we look outside of ourselves, to people, places, and things, to get our good feelings about ourselves, we’re truly in an unhealthy space. We have everything we need, in the way of our answers, and our information, inside ourselves, with our soul’s ancient wisdom, and we have the ability to tap into this, as long as we develop a strong connection to God/Source/our Guides/our Angles/ the Universe/The Creator/the Collective Consciousness.
I found my way to a Twelve Step program, for codependency, and it was in this sacred space, I learned, for the first time, to truly love myself, on a deep level. I developed a relationship, with God, and felt, for the first time in my life, the immense feelings of being deeply, and unconditionally loved. I filled in the holes, in my soul, with God’s love.
I got to sit, with all of my childhood wounds, and family dysfunctions, in my lap. I got to pick them all up, one by one, and feel the pain, and release them. I was able to heal myself, through the Grace of God. I was able to let go of my past, and move forward, feeling like a brand new person.
In this program, I was involved in a mentorship, with other folks. I held a position of servitude, offering my time as a meeting chairperson, and held a post, making myself available for newcomers, and seeing that the group maintained, in order to help others.
It is through God’s guidance, and direction, that I am now a certified Spiritual Life Coach. I realize I have spent decades, helping, and coaching others, before I even knew this to be a ‘job description’. I walked through a long list, of my own personal challenges, and I understand, now, the purpose of that, was for the experience, and to prepare me, for my life purpose work.
As a Spiritual Life Coach I am living in my purpose work, and holding a position of servitude, carrying the message of God’s love and light, for us, and our lives. This is a message of soul evolution and enlightenment. I am now, helping others to develop a relationship with not only themselves, but also, with God, and the Universe, too.
As I wake, every day, I hold the intention, of allowing God, and His presence, to come through me, so that I am available, and able, to reach, and help others, who may be standing, on a path of struggles, or who may dealing with wounds, and brokenness, in their own lives.
God continued to work on me, through other people, who tried to deliver His messages. I would continually seek out the services of renowned spiritual teachers, guides, psychics, mediums, therapists, hypnotherapists, and intuitives, who would all channel guidance, telling me, I needed to work as a spiritual healer, teacher, medium, and inspirational writer. I swept all of that under the proverbial rug, as I was not yet able, to see that ability, in myself. Thankfully, God never gives up on us. He continues to work on us, until we are ready.
I have been faced with a lifetime of challenges, and struggles, even though I have been walking a spiritual path, for so long. I often wondered why I was continually being ‘gifted’ these uphill climbs. I believed with the work I did, in my life, I should somehow experience more peace and serenity, and a life that was void of such hurdles. However, we do not grow from a place of comfort, and I can look back now, and understand, while I was walking through all of this, I was in school. I was being conditioned. There was importance in those experiences.
I can’t say that, immediately, I felt that way, when they were gifted to me. It took me a lot of work, and growth, to get to the point, where I could understand them to be ‘gifts in some ugly packaging’. I knew I was where I needed to be, when I could finally express gratitude, and appreciation, for those struggles, as they allowed me to transcend, and reach higher levels, in my soul evolution.
I came from a family of intense dysfunctions, and I had childhood wounds, scars, and baggage. I had abandonment issues. I spent the first thirty-five years of my life, as the ‘walking wounded’, living deeply in victim mode, recycling a negative tape, which constantly played in my head. Everyone else, but me, was to blame, for anything, and everything, which was wrong in my life, and I felt the world owed me something, for all, which I had suffered. I attended university, and earned my bachelor’s degree, in psychology, and I believe the primary person, whom I was trying to fix, was myself.
I grew up in the Southern Baptist faith, but I left the faith, in my teenage years. I had religion, in my life, from an early age, but I was not spiritually connected. I was simply going through the motions, of what I saw, other folks do, around me.
I found my way to my spiritual path, after my divorce, much later in life. I was deep in a traumatic, challenge, literally, lying in fetal position, in the floor. I had just split with my husband, and in that split, I was loosing my home; a job, which I had with his company; and, the only family, which I had known, in Canada, and all the while, with a five-month-old baby, on my hip. I had this small person in my life, looking to me, for everything, and here I was, wondering how my life had become such a mess.
My name is Connie Harriel Rouble, and I’m originally from the backwoods, of the American Deep South, of Mississippi. I grew up, about an hour, to the northeast of New Orleans, with all of my folks located along the Mississippi and Louisiana borders. However, I’m now located in the commercial, tobacco farmlands, of Ontario, Canada.
In my youth, I was surrounded by dense, ‘tropical like’ woods, and lived so far back in those woods, there were no neighbors, around me, to be seen. As early as I could remember, I spent a great deal of my time, alone, in solitude. Coming up like this, conditioned me, so that later in my life, I was able to sit comfortably, for periods of quietude, in solitude, to develop a connection to God / Universe / Source / my Guides.
I took the moniker, of ‘the Mississippi Queen’, a few decades ago, when I first embarked on my previous career, in the hospitality industry, selling Southern food, live music, and events. I am also a full time, ‘retro life style’ person, and long time, antique and vintage collector, by passion.
I manifested a very creative, career path, for myself, literally, out of dirt, and believed, wholeheartedly, for nearly 15 years, I was on my soul’s path. What I did for industry, was all about my culture, and my Southern traditions. It never occurred to me, this was merely something, which was good, and I was to be called, to a position of servitude, to do something, great.
When I first started channeling this information, it didn’t land on me, in acceptance. I was still in denial, thinking it was ‘just the stuff I didn’t want, that was going away’. It took me ‘picking this up’, many times over, consistently, before I was able to process it.
While I knew the things, which did not serve me well, were all going away, and that these things, which were ‘good’, were disappearing, so that something ‘great’ could appear, I was not without fear. My ego was rearing it’s ugly head, and I was most certainly, holding onto my fear’s, with my nails all dug into the back of it.
You know that saying, ‘jump and net will appear?’ Well, I knew that I had to jump, and one foot had left the ground, on one side. However, I was in mid air, having left my old world, and not yet seeing anything solid, which I could even remotely use as a landing strip.
All of this strengthened my faith, and my trust, in the Divine, and my Universe. I had to let go, on a really deep level. I also had to let go of my own manifestations. In this space I transcended to a higher level of consciousness. God’s hands were all over my life, and there was no other way to see it, as such.
It was during this time, I started to review my entire life, and I could see plenty of ‘crossroads’ opportunities, where I was supposed to choose ‘this door’, but, I didn’t. I had the chance to ‘fast track’ my way into my life purpose work. However, as humans, we have the ability to exercise free will. Obviously, I kept saying ‘no’, one way, or the other, as I kept this door closed, for many, many years.
I was being called for my purpose work, to do something with a higher purpose, helping others. However, I wasn’t yet in acceptance, around it. It was clear to me, that God’s plan was one of servitude, for my life. I needed to transcend, to a much higher level, before I was able to accept, surrender, and allow God’s plan, and vision for my life, to unfold, as He envisioned for me, when He created me. I needed to become a vessel, for His presence, to come through me, and reach others, with His message.
As I was watching my career, start to die, a very slow death, it was communicated, to me, I was in the midst of a ‘death and rebirth’. I was undergoing a massive transformation, in my life, and I was about to embark on a brand new life, completely. I also understood, I was protected, and that I didn’t have a choice, that it was time for me to lean into my purpose work.
I started watching daily miracles, in my life, unfold, right before my eyes, and I had no ability to imagine, even in my wildest dreams, the vision and plan, which was created for my life, and uniquely, just for me.
What was required of me, was to let go of my own interests, and my own desires. I was always trying to manifest, things which I wanted, ‘for me’. I was busy visualizing, and acting ‘as if’, they were already a part of my life. I was setting my sights on something, and bringing it in, energetically, with the ‘Laws of Attraction’, by becoming a vibrational match, for what I wanted.
However, when I watched the career, which I had manifested, begin to unravel at the seams, and I was understanding, deep within my core, this was all part of the Divine’s plan, for me, I started letting go on a level, which I had not yet experienced. When I finally reached acceptance, I surrendered. Then, I moved into a position of ‘allowing’, and that’s when the real magic started. I became open, and available, for God’s plan in my life. My prayers, and my intentions changed. I was no longer seeking things ‘for me’. I was now making myself available, for His presence to work ‘through me’. I was open, allowing, surrendering, available, and accepting, God’s plan for me, and my life. As soon as I did this, it was as if everything around me, came into alignment.
While I had a very public career, on the backside, I was always in an intense self study, of psychology, spirituality, and self help, trying to grow, and evolve, mind, body, and spirit. I wanted to be the best version of myself, and I was also trying to fix myself, and heal my own wounds.
I have had a lot of challenges to walk through, in my life. I have dealt with abandonment, and alcohol abuse, in my family of origin. I have had a tremendous level of generational family dysfunction. I have dealt with addiction issues in personal relationships. I have been through a divorce. I have been a single mom, since my daughter was an infant, living in another country, without a family support system. I have supported my daughter through two, major surgeries, and health complications. I have owned two businesses, in the food industry, during Covid. I have been faced with financial struggles, which have brought me to the brink of bankruptcy. So, I understand hardships, intimately.